I’ve always been different, peculiar some might say. As a child when kids my age were playing with dolls, I was playing “baptism” in my bathtub. As a teenager when girls were dating, I was writing in my prayer journal and getting knee deep in the Word. Still as a 23 year old young woman, I get strange looks and comments whenever I proudly reveal to people that I am a virgin—by choice. If that doesn’t leave them speechless, imagine the gasps I get when I tell them that I have NEVER been kissed either.
What made me want to remain a virgin until marriage?
After watching the lives of others and seeing all of the heartache and spiritual turmoil that goes along with premarital sex and ungodly relationships, I decided that I didn’t want that for my life. So one day, I told God that I wanted something more; I wanted to have a different story–while at the same time changing the world’s stereotypical image of what virginity looks and acts like. He said to me, “According to your faith let it be unto you.” From then on, I was determined to live a life of purity. And what further encouraged my decision was learning about Oxytocin in college. Oxytocin is a hormone that God gave to us women for the purpose of bonding and connecting on a deeper, more intimate level. This hormone is released in our brains during sex and breastfeeding to create feelings of love, warmth, and intimacy. Oxytocin has a lot to do with those messy soul ties. I don’t want to take a gamble at being connected to anyone who God NEVER intended for my life.
Never been kissed
My decision to live a life of purity is more so about my decision to please God, it’s not about “saving myself for marriage”; I want to make God smile. I want to honor God with EVERYTHING that I have, so my lips, hips, and fingertips belong to Him too. I don’t kiss because I have NO intention of taking things further. God’s tells us to shun the very presence of evil 1 Thessalonians 5:22. Kissing is foreplay—it’s stimulation. People always tell me that there are “levels” of kissing. Really? Is tongue okay? What about an opened mouth kiss? Where does a Christian draw the line? All I know is that kissing leads to more stimulation, and that stimulation becomes a train in motion. It’s kind of hard to stop a train that’s going full speed ahead, because usually once you stop, the damage is already done. A “peck” is going to get old—QUICK! It doesn’t take much to stimulate the flesh, and once you tire of the peck, you’re going to want more; flesh is INSATIABLE! Did you know that the endorphins released during a kiss are around 200 times MORE powerful than an anesthetic drug? Don’t tell me that kissing can’t start a fire.
Refuse to compromise!
I didn’t solo date until I was in my twenties (my own decision). Not too long ago, I was getting to know a guy who I quickly found out was a manipulator. I always say that what discernment doesn’t reveal, time will tell. He tried to guilt me about simple little things here and there to get his way. What this told me was that if he was trying to use a guilt trip on simple things to get his way, how much further would he go to get me to change my stance on pre-marital sex? I broke it off with that Trespasser.
Your life, Your standard
Your virginity whether renewed or sustained is your birthright and it should be held in the highest regard; it’s a gift to be freely given to your God ordained husband. You should never “lose” your virginity; it’s only a loss when it’s robbed from you or given away before time. I personally don’t want to “lose” my virginity to some guy who’s just passing through, instead, I want to gift myself to my God ordained husband in exchange for a lifetime of Christ like love, honor, and respect. Who wouldn’t want the same for themselves? God is the God of ALL flesh, not just my flesh or a select few. He can and WILL keep anyone who wants to be kept. If you’ve done things differently in the past, make a life change TODAY, it’s NEVER too late. Sexual sin not only harms you, it puts another soul in jeopardy as well, don’t contributes to ANYONE’s downfall. God is BIGGER than your past and you are NOT your mistakes. God is no respecter of persons; the same God Who is keeping me, can keep you too. Let Him make you whole today and He will use even that past brokenness for your good and His glory. It’s NOT always easy, but it’s ALWAYS worth it!
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